Recap of the past

I have a test tomorrow which I am most certainly going to flunk. I know this, because I wasted away any time given for me to study on it. Even now, my unwillingness to study has set me laid back. It's not like I do not want to pass it, what good will setting my study back going to do? I admit it's not as dramatic as it sounds, but it's definitely an interesting premise to conjure some thoughts about as to why I'm burned out. I guess it started after I got through my first year, which ran for half a year, since I'm doing the short track version of this study. As a reward for completing it you get a sheet of paper enlisting your name, an autograph from some high people and a comforting call that you're on schedule. I think by now this diploma is laying a top of my high school one; collecting quite some dust. Perhaps the comfort of having these two sheets of paper leaves me restless, but that would be too silly. As my father never stopped reminding me that, especially in the case of the high school diploma, I have accomplished nothing. I do know that this is hardly the end of the road and that I got a lot of work too do and the ever-increasing difficulty is going to be something I have to cope with. Finish my study, get a good job, increase in stature and pay-check every once in a while and thus in short become a part of society as they want you to be.

Whoever said that schools are very much alike factories wasn’t that far off. Every individual going into the cycle is sorted out and being put into place, meeting certain social standards, which mainly consists of their supposed brain capacity. Those who are good at working with their hands are guided towards more practical jobs; those who are better with their brains get sent off to a more theoretical study. This is the black & white parenthesis I will use as diverting more accurately into this matter holds no relevance to the subject at hand. It’s good that such a cycle has been implemented that guides young people into a role which they can understand. It’s like following the golden brick road, because you can’t see very clearly yet. Some will stray from this path, but those who believe it’s for their own benefit will undoubtedly follow it. Why destroy any chances of a good life in the future by sacrificing some of your time right now? This is of course without giving any thought to the random natures of our life that can end it up short. The problem lies in the fact that you are leading your life now and are experiencing emotions that are linked to your current circumstances. I can’t look in the future and know how I will feel then. Even if the wise men promise untold treasures if I will follow the path they have set out.

You wish to know with what I wasted my time on? I took the time to watch American Beauty and the weekend before I saw American History X. Both excellent movies which in some way cover the subject I’m writing about. Ironically both movies end up with one of the lead characters being shot at the very moment they figure out life. Let’s hope I’ll do better.